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Old 03-20-2017, 09:47 PM   #1
topwater
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Smile Paying it Forward

Has anyone else ever did that? I do it quite frequently. But I do have to share one experience.
I was up at Country Kitchen in Moultonborough and as I walked in I saw a gentleman in his 80's or so sitting next to the window with with a WW2 ball cap on. I called over the waitress and told her I would like to buy he and his wife Lunch and to tell him Thank You for his service, and it came to just over 22 bucks including the tip. I found out later he was on the way home from the Doctor's office and found out he had cancer that day. His friend wrote a letter to my office explaining everything and how that ONE act of goodwill made his day.
He has since passed away but his friend wrote us another letter explaining how much that meant to him and his wife at the time and put a smile on their face on such a sad day.
So I guess the morale to my little story is simple. Just a little kindness goes a long way. Kudo's to anyone else that does the Pay it forward. It's the little things in life that keep you going.

And I still don't know how they found out I was the one that did it.
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Old 03-20-2017, 10:16 PM   #2
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Great story, thank you for sharing.


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Old 03-21-2017, 04:31 AM   #3
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I don't play the lottery, but I always thought it'd be cool to win and create a business that organically found people to help out. An example: was at the repair shop when a woman's car inspection was rejected for bald tires. She had a young child and started crying because she couldn't afford to replace them. How awesome would it have been to throw down a grand for tires and a gift certificate for future service and a few more hundred to hook the kid and mom up with some good times? No videos, pictures, or other virtue signaling--just wish them luck and ride off into the sunset. What a great life that would be.

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Old 03-21-2017, 07:05 AM   #4
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I don't play the lottery, but I always thought it'd be cool to win and create a business that organically found people to help out. An example: was at the repair shop when a woman's car inspection was rejected for bald tires. She had a young child and started crying because she couldn't afford to replace them. How awesome would it have been to throw down a grand for tires and a gift certificate for future service and a few more hundred to hook the kid and mom up with some good times? No videos, pictures, or other virtue signaling--just wish them luck and ride off into the sunset. What a great life that would be.

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This post brings to mind a type of giving that I have considered to be a challenge.

That is, how to eliminate the middle man and also avoid being scammed.

For example, let's say I have a good running car that I no longer need and I wish to help out somebody by giving it to them. There are plenty of organizations willing to take my car but they have employees and advertising expenses. Does the car go to a person directly? Maybe.

I suspect that, back in the day, a local church pastor would know who is truely in need and if asked, could connect my car with the person.

Putting an ad on Craigslist for a free, inspection worthy car might draw many who are more in greed than in need.

Is there a way to do this?
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Old 03-21-2017, 07:10 AM   #5
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8gv, didn't you answer your own question? Speak with your local pastor(s) or priest(s), perhaps your local community services organizations.

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Old 03-21-2017, 07:35 AM   #6
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My son bought a house a few years ago in Woburn Ma. His next door neighbor was a 91 year highly decorated war veteran living with a frail 90 year old wife. My son and I really took to this guy. He was the sweetest guy in the world. He never wanted any help but my son and I always went out of our way to help him anyway because he needed it. His wife passed away a few months later and he was devastated so my son and his wife were there to help him everyday. My son moved away last year and I continued to check on him every couple of days as his house was on my way to work. He passed away in January at 94. This guy was a true gentleman and it was a blessing to know him for the short time I had. I only wish I had met him much earlier in life. RIP Bob Johnston
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Old 03-21-2017, 03:35 PM   #7
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I don't play the lottery, but I always thought it'd be cool to win and create a business that organically found people to help out. An example: was at the repair shop when a woman's car inspection was rejected for bald tires. She had a young child and started crying because she couldn't afford to replace them. How awesome would it have been to throw down a grand for tires and a gift certificate for future service and a few more hundred to hook the kid and mom up with some good times? No videos, pictures, or other virtue signaling--just wish them luck and ride off into the sunset. What a great life that would be.

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Had similar thoughts. What WOULD I really do if I hit powerball for millions? I'd start an anonymous biz that hunted for the folks who really needed a boost.

You win the lotto, Ill work for you in that biz. If I win, you'll be my first call.
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Old 03-21-2017, 04:08 PM   #8
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Had similar thoughts. What WOULD I really do if I hit powerball for millions? I'd start an anonymous biz that hunted for the folks who really needed a boost.

You win the lotto, Ill work for you in that biz. If I win, you'll be my first call.
You're on!

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Old 03-21-2017, 06:09 PM   #9
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Has anyone else ever did that? I do it quite frequently. But I do have to share one experience.
I was up at Country Kitchen in Moultonborough and as I walked in I saw a gentleman in his 80's or so sitting next to the window with with a WW2 ball cap on. I called over the waitress and told her I would like to buy he and his wife Lunch and to tell him Thank You for his service, and it came to just over 22 bucks including the tip. I found out later he was on the way home from the Doctor's office and found out he had cancer that day. His friend wrote a letter to my office explaining everything and how that ONE act of goodwill made his day.
He has since passed away but his friend wrote us another letter explaining how much that meant to him and his wife at the time and put a smile on their face on such a sad day.
So I guess the morale to my little story is simple. Just a little kindness goes a long way. Kudo's to anyone else that does the Pay it forward. It's the little things in life that keep you going.

And I still don't know how they found out I was the one that did it.
BRAVO topwater! Made my day just reading your story. I try my best to do similar things, even if its' just a coffee for a service member at starbucks, or picking up a tab at a restaurant, or sponsoring children at Christmas through the local welfare department as they get it to the people who NEED it most who are not just playing the system. Reminds me however I could and should always do more. I can only hope I've quietly had an impact half as much as you did for that man and his family!
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Old 03-21-2017, 07:18 PM   #10
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Wow what great stories and great ideas. Thank you all.

I too have done what I can. Changed flat tires, bought lunch for an elderly couple that didn't look like they had "that much", help and continue to help my 90+ y.o. widowed neighbor with lifts to the market, shoveling his walkway, clearing his driveway even though he doesn't drive anymore but likes it cleared and so forth.

I don't go looking for these events, they just sort of pop up and I just do them because I want to.

I was in a convenience store here in Exeter about a year ago and a little kid who didn't look like he had much was digging through the change in the palm of his hand trying to come up with like, a $1.59 for some candy. Couldn't make it so I leaned over him and handed the clerk a two bucks and said I'll pay for the boy and to give him the change. He looked at me like I was God. Honestly I felt like God and it was a really really good feeling. My only regret is that I couldn't do more for him.

Some people, like an older couple whose tire I changed offered me money. I said I didn't do it for money but if they wanted to do something nice, to help TWO people in the future if they could and then tell those two people, to help TWO people. Do the math.

I loved Topwater's comment about...don't know how they knew it was me....wonderful.
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Old 03-22-2017, 07:40 AM   #11
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My daughter is a junior in college and was home on spring break a couple weeks ago. One day we went to the local pizza shop in our town for a couple slices for lunch. The shop is owned by a Greek immigrant family. Super people...very hard workers...in there 7 days a week, and they do a lot to support the HS athletics in our town. It seems most of the HS kids are in there after school every day sucking down pizza.

Anyway, as I ordered our slices, my daughter sat down at one of the tables. When I walked over to sit with her, there were two $5 bills on the table. She said, "Dad, this 10 bucks was on the floor under the table". I took the money and brought it over to the guy who owns the shop and told him we found the money under the table, in case someone realizes they dropped or forgot it and comes back to ask about it. I did this for two reasons: 1) It was the right thing to do; 2) I wanted to casually re-enforce the "right thing to do" message by my actions to my 21 year old daughter.

As I gave the owner of the shop the money, he looked at me dumbfounded. "I can't believe you didn't keep it", he said. "Thank you for your honesty. If no one claims it in a couple days, you get a free lunch the next time you come in".

I told him I didn't need a free lunch, but maybe a couple of the many HS kids that come into his shop might, and to put the money towards one of their lunches. He said, "you got it!"

Did it or will it happen? Who Knows....I'll probably never know....but my father taught me many, many years ago, you do something for someone because you WANT to and it's the right thing to do, not because you're looking for a thank you or something in return.
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Old 03-22-2017, 11:06 AM   #12
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One day I left home forgetting to take my wallet with me. I was traveling from Melvin Village to Nashua in my truck. Got to the Alton circle and wanted to eat lunch at McDonalds. I told the clerk I didn't have any money/credit cards with me but told her I could give her my credit card number and could she let me buy lunch. She checked with her manager who said NO. A nice lady standing next to me slid a $10 bill over to me and said take it. I declined and went on my merry way. Got to the Epsom circle and went to McDonalds there. Tried the same ploy. The clerk said, no problem. Said, just stop in the next time you're by this way and pay. Happy day.

Got to Nashua and took care of my business there but was hungry again at the end of the day. Went to a branch office of a bank I do business with and said I needed some money. I told them I knew my bank account number but didn't have any identification with me. They asked if I had my auto registration in my truck as identification. I showed that to them, gave them my account number, they asked me a bunch of questions and I walked out the door with $50 from my account. Nice.

Drove back home through Epsom, paid my bill at McDonalds and got home safely.

Kudos to the lady at Alton McDonalds, the Epsom McDonalds clerk and to the bank staff who made my day.
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Old 03-22-2017, 12:28 PM   #13
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One day I left home forgetting to take my wallet with me. I was traveling from Melvin Village to Nashua in my truck. Got to the Alton circle and wanted to eat lunch at McDonalds. I told the clerk I didn't have any money/credit cards with me but told her I could give her my credit card number and could she let me buy lunch. She checked with her manager who said NO. A nice lady standing next to me slid a $10 bill over to me and said take it. I declined and went on my merry way. Got to the Epsom circle and went to McDonalds there. Tried the same ploy. The clerk said, no problem. Said, just stop in the next time you're by this way and pay. Happy day.

Got to Nashua and took care of my business there but was hungry again at the end of the day. Went to a branch office of a bank I do business with and said I needed some money. I told them I knew my bank account number but didn't have any identification with me. They asked if I had my auto registration in my truck as identification. I showed that to them, gave them my account number, they asked me a bunch of questions and I walked out the door with $50 from my account. Nice.

Drove back home through Epsom, paid my bill at McDonalds and got home safely.

Kudos to the lady at Alton McDonalds, the Epsom McDonalds clerk and to the bank staff who made my day.

I had a similar exoerience but from the other side of the drive thru.

It was dark and snowing hard Christmas Eve and we were very busy with last minute shoppers. A lady ordered for her whole family but upon arriving at the cash window she discovered that she had no cash. She apologized and told us she had to go home and return with some money.

We were very fast and had the order assembled, ready to hand out. I tendered the order and handed her the receipt. My crew brought her order up to the cash window and handed it to her. She promised to return in a few minutes with the cash. That made no sense to me because 1) it was snowing...a lot and 2) it was Christmas Eve. I told her that any time next week would be fine. My crew was betting that I had just been scammed. A few days later she proved them wrong.
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Old 03-22-2017, 01:31 PM   #14
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I had a similar exoerience but from the other side of the drive thru.

It was dark and snowing hard Christmas Eve and we were very busy with last minute shoppers. A lady ordered for her whole family but upon arriving at the cash window she discovered that she had no cash. She apologized and told us she had to go home and return with some money.

We were very fast and had the order assembled, ready to hand out. I tendered the order and handed her the receipt. My crew brought her order up to the cash window and handed it to her. She promised to return in a few minutes with the cash. That made no sense to me because 1) it was snowing...a lot and 2) it was Christmas Eve. I told her that any time next week would be fine. My crew was betting that I had just been scammed. A few days later she proved them wrong.
It's nice when it happens that way but when you do get conned it makes you think twice the next time. I'm usually a good judge of character but I've been had a few times and it stings because it makes you skeptical the next time. You're trying to do something good but you're conned by someone with no morals.
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Old 03-22-2017, 01:43 PM   #15
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What an awesome story!!

Years ago I pulled a woman over for every vehicle registration violation there was. Expired everything and no insurance...you get the picture. Anyway, she started crying about having no money and going through chemo treatment. She said she was just coming home from the doctor's office and took off her wig as she told me. She said she had a few kids at home and no dinner for them. I gave her $20 and sent her on her way with obviously a stern warning to update everything. Well, months later I stopped the same car (took a few minutes to realize it) for the same reasons and now she had an active arrest warrant. I gotta say I was a little disappointed she did not remember me and for some reason I didn't remind her.

I love paying it forward when those little opportunities present themselves.
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Old 03-22-2017, 05:06 PM   #16
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.....
Some people, like an older couple whose tire I changed offered me money. I said I didn't do it for money but if they wanted to do something nice, to help TWO people in the future if they could and then tell those two people, to help TWO people. Do the math.
That reminds me of a hike I did with my three kids up Mt. Washington, years ago, in mid-July. The two older ones had gone on ahead, while I followed with the youngest, maybe 10 years old at the time. We left the top around 5 pm, so it was around 6 or so that we passed a family of four, just below tree line. The two kids were perhaps 3 and 5, and they were having obvious difficulty getting down over the boulders, making very slow progress down the mountain, not a good thing so late in the day. That bothered me. A couple hundred feet down, I stopped with my son, and we waited for the family to catch up.

When they got down to us, I looked at the man, and I asked him "Do you need help?" He must have been thinking the same thing I was. He paused a couple of seconds, then replied "Yes." I let his wife carry my pack, mostly empty by then. They had a Gerry kid carrier, which I initially took with the youngest, a girl, and the man carried the boy. A short distance down I suggested switching kids. So I carried the boy in the Gerry pack, while the man carried the girl, who weighed next to nothing. Down we went at a good pace. We got down to the bottom by the Cog RR base station a bit after sunset, and ten minutes later it was totally dark. I didn't want to think about their being way back up the trail, with two little kids, in darkness.

They thanked me, but I was glad to have helped. I also hoped it had made an impression on my son. But it wasn't until on the way home that I realized that I had missed an opportunity, that I should have told them just what you [Diver1111] told the older couple, to do something nice to two others, and to tell each of them to do the same for two others.
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Old 03-22-2017, 08:03 PM   #17
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I see the stories of people that have paid off someone's layaway, or paid for groceries when they didn't have enough money. I'd love to do something like that, but I never seem to be in the right place to do so.
However, one fun thing I like to do, is to pay for a bunch of people's tolls. Around the holidays, I might have a candy cane for the toll attendant for their help.
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Old 03-24-2017, 12:49 PM   #18
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It is just great reading this thread. Way too much negative stuff going on these days, as we all know. I now feel inspired to be on the lookout for opportunities to help folks myself. I bet other readers feel likewise, so a huge Thank You to all who've shared their good deeds!
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Old 03-25-2017, 08:56 AM   #19
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8gv - earlier this year I donated a car to Kingswood High School in Wolfeboro. Obviously they use cars to develop repair skills of all sorts, but when they get a car they can fix up to truly usable shape, they'll donate to a family in need.

Also here in Wolfeboro is a church, Calvary Wolfeboro on Mill Street, which has "Calvary Closet". People can donate wearable clothing, and the church will have regular days to give them away absolutely free (advertised at the local food pantry). Last Christmas, they also had toys available for kids, just like the USMC's Toys for Tots.

One thing I love about my neighborhood is that people haven't forgotten what "being neighborly" is all about. A couple of years ago I had shoulder surgery, and the guy next door mowed my lawn all summer. I have a snowblower, so I'll take care of a few folks who struggle. You get the picture.

As far as winning the lottery goes - I think we'd look for a way to aid people with cancer. My wife went through treatments for breast cancer much of last year, and there were a few organizations that helped us out a little. We ended up with a bunch of debt to cover the expense, and we'll eventually be fine, but we saw many people who were being totally wiped out. The thing that struck us was that many charities were cancer-specific: breast cancer being far and away #1. So the guy we saw for several weeks at the same clinic, but who had esophageal cancer, had very little help beyond what the clinic themselves could do.
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Old 03-25-2017, 11:11 AM   #20
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My wife and I both chose healthcare careers because we truly feel our basic human fundamental responsibility is to try and leave the world a better place and to help those less fortunate along the way. We are reaching the end of our careeres and never for a day have we regretted our career choice. It has been rewarding beyond description.
Why do I post this, you ask? Perhaps it will help young people struggling with the age old question: what do I want to do with my life? If you are a compassionate, giving person, I can assure you a career in healthcare will answer that question and fulfill your life.
You may not make a lot of money, compared to your friends who go into business or finance or whatever, and you will probably never be able to afford a place on Lake Winni, but you will be happy and your priorities will be in check. We have a 17' boat that we trailer up to the lake on weekdays in the summer and finding a nice protected secluded place to throw out the anchor on the lee side of an island is the most relaxing thing on earth, and it won't cost you a lot of money!
Anyway, parents of kids who are struggling with that question of what to do with my life may want to show them this......
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Old 03-25-2017, 07:50 PM   #21
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8gv - earlier this year I donated a car to Kingswood High School in Wolfeboro. Obviously they use cars to develop repair skills of all sorts, but when they get a car they can fix up to truly usable shape, they'll donate to a family in need.

Also here in Wolfeboro is a church, Calvary Wolfeboro on Mill Street, which has "Calvary Closet". People can donate wearable clothing, and the church will have regular days to give them away absolutely free (advertised at the local food pantry). Last Christmas, they also had toys available for kids, just like the USMC's Toys for Tots.

One thing I love about my neighborhood is that people haven't forgotten what "being neighborly" is all about. A couple of years ago I had shoulder surgery, and the guy next door mowed my lawn all summer. I have a snowblower, so I'll take care of a few folks who struggle. You get the picture.

As far as winning the lottery goes - I think we'd look for a way to aid people with cancer. My wife went through treatments for breast cancer much of last year, and there were a few organizations that helped us out a little. We ended up with a bunch of debt to cover the expense, and we'll eventually be fine, but we saw many people who were being totally wiped out. The thing that struck us was that many charities were cancer-specific: breast cancer being far and away #1. So the guy we saw for several weeks at the same clinic, but who had esophageal cancer, had very little help beyond what the clinic themselves could do.
Some good ideas there, thanks!
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Old 03-27-2017, 06:19 AM   #22
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Although EZ Pass has all but killed toll booths ............

Ever pay for the next 5 cars behind you?

That use to be a regular of mine, some time back during Holidays, when I commuted the Mass Pike to & from work.

Another was to hand the toll taker a nice bottle of wine at Thanksgiving time and/or Christmas

.
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Old 04-19-2017, 06:35 PM   #23
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I have seen it at Dunkin Dounuts where the car in front of you pays for your order

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Old 04-26-2017, 07:04 PM   #24
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This is exactly what I needed today. Kudos to @topwater
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Old 05-01-2017, 04:31 PM   #25
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Most pastors have an account that they manage for assistance to individuals. I'm always amazed that those who need it the most are reluctant to accept any offers, saying "there are others who need it more than me." A group I'm involved in purchase $50 gift certificates at Market Basket (or a local grocery store -- many of those who need it the most do not have transportation available) and give those to the local pastor. People are more willing to accept that. Tough times for many, even in the best of economies. We don't need to look too far to see the need very close to us. God bless everyone!!
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Old 05-01-2017, 06:26 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by handpiecer View Post
Most pastors have an account that they manage for assistance to individuals. I'm always amazed that those who need it the most are reluctant to accept any offers, saying "there are others who need it more than me." A group I'm involved in purchase $50 gift certificates at Market Basket (or a local grocery store -- many of those who need it the most do not have transportation available) and give those to the local pastor. People are more willing to accept that. Tough times for many, even in the best of economies. We don't need to look too far to see the need very close to us. God bless everyone!!
Congrats on your first post in your 10 years here
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Old 05-03-2017, 10:44 AM   #27
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I enjoy doing the same for animals.
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Old 05-04-2017, 06:56 PM   #28
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Default out of gas

I was fishing one day out on the lake with two young kids when someone started flagging me down, I trolled over to see what he wanted. He said he ran out of gas and needed a tow, so I towed him to the marina. When we got there he said he had no money so I gave him $20 and said have a nice day. He said will you still be out in the same spot fishing later? I said I will he said he will be out to pay me back. I said ok ,the two kids I had with me said you just lost $20 bucks I said oh well. Two hours later the guy showed up gave me $40 and said thanks a lot. I thought that was pretty nice to see happen.
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Old 05-04-2017, 09:24 PM   #29
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I think it was pretty nice of you to give him a tow and gas money!
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Old 06-04-2017, 05:57 AM   #30
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Default Lend a helping hand

I think about helping others out too, I only wish I could do it. The lottery is a dream, so I am trying to patent a device so that I can do more. It takes a long time to earn the money to move forward.
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I don't play the lottery, but I always thought it'd be cool to win and create a business that organically found people to help out. An example: was at the repair shop when a woman's car inspection was rejected for bald tires. She had a young child and started crying because she couldn't afford to replace them. How awesome would it have been to throw down a grand for tires and a gift certificate for future service and a few more hundred to hook the kid and mom up with some good times? No videos, pictures, or other virtue signaling--just wish them luck and ride off into the sunset. What a great life that would be.

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Old 06-04-2017, 06:55 PM   #31
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I think about helping others out too, I only wish I could do it. The lottery is a dream, so I am trying to patent a device so that I can do more. It takes a long time to earn the money to move forward.
i hope you succeed, but the $$ you get for free, has to come from someone that earns it. Good luck.
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Old 06-04-2017, 08:13 PM   #32
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What a great thread!
I try to pay it forward when I can. Sometimes it's simply clearing the snow from our neighbors driveway or the snowbank after the plow goes by on its final pass.

Once I was in a Friendly's restaurant with my youngest son (10 at the time) and there was a family with 4 kids. The youngest of thier children was very active, crawling all over his dad, under the table, it seemed what ever he could do to keep thier attention.
Well, approximatly two months prior to this my Grand Mother passed away and left a small amount of money to the family members to make her proud by spending the money on others and no our own families.
My son and I agreed we thought these parents earned a dinner on us after working so hard to keep everyone else's dinners peaceful. We paid our bill, and theirs, on our way out the door and never looked back.

This past Christmas (2016) while sending out Christmas cards I wanted to pay it forward again. I went to a local restaurant near where I live, The Shady Glenn, in Manchester, CT. I bought 4, $50 gift certificates and sent them to people I felt,
1+2. Two families that touched my life when I was young and helped shape me. I haven't been in touch with them for quite some time, so this was a pleasant surprise.
3. One friend that helped me throughout the year with some mechanical projects without wanting anything in return.
4. One was a person in my town that expressed dealing with some tough times and forging on, on Facebook. I was moved by what was said and could relate to some of thier struggles. I sent them the last certificate and all I asked was that it was not mentioned on social media, they were simply to enjoy thier time together.

I will say about 12 years ago a person from Maine paid for my families dinner at a restaurant called Anthony's, in Vernon, CT. At least his license plate was from Maine. As he was driving away our waitress came over and said, "That gentleman just paid for your meal. He said you have beautiful family." All we could do was wave as he drove off.
I will never forget that day, and I will continue to pay it forward as many, and as often, as I can.
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