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04-08-2020, 05:53 PM | #1 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Gilford, NH and Florida
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Stimulus Checks
Sometime this year, we taxpayers will likely receive a economic stimulus check from the government.
It is indeed a very exciting program and I’ll attempt to explain it by using a Q&A format: Q: What is an Economic Stimulus? A: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. Q: Where will the government get this money that they are sending to the taxpayers? A: From the taxpayers. Q: Is the government simply giving me back my own money then? A: No, only a smidgen of it. Q: What is the purpose of this payment? A: The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high definition tv television set, a new iPad or a new SUV, thus stimulating the economy. Q: Isn’t that stimulating the economy of China? A: Shut up. Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy with your stimulus check. Use it wisely. * If you spend the stimulus money at Walmart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka. * If you purchase a computer, the money goes to India, Taiwan or China. * If you purchase fruits and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras or Guatemala. * If you buy a fuel efficient car the money will go to Japan or Korea. * If you purchase useless stuff, it goes to Taiwan. Instead, keep the money in America by” (1) Spending it at a yard sale, or (2) Going to a ballgame, or (3) Spending it on prostitutes, or (4) Buying beer, or (5) Buying a tattoo These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. CONCLUSION: Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day. No need to thank me - I’m just glad I could be of help. |
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