[ApS]

Facts as we know them:

ME: CDC, should I get vaccinated if I already had Covid?

CDC: “Yes, you should be vaccinated regardless of whether you already had COVID-19. That’s because experts do not yet know how long you are protected from getting sick again after recovering from COVID-19.”

ME: Oh, okay, we don’t know how long natural immunity lasts. Got it. So, how long does vaccine-induced immunity last?

ANSWER: “There is still a lot we are learning about COVID-19 vaccines and CDC is constantly reviewing evidence and updating guidance. We don’t know how long protection lasts for those who are vaccinated.”

QUESTION: Okay … but wait a second. I thought you said the reason I need the vaccine was because we don’t know how long my natural immunity lasts, but it seems like you’re saying we ALSO don’t know how long vaccine immunity lasts either. So, how exactly is the vaccine immunity better than my natural immunity?

CDC: …

QUESTION: Uh … alright. But, haven’t there been a bunch of studies suggesting that natural immunity could last for years or decades?

CDC: Yes.

NEWYORKTIMES: “Years, maybe even decades, according to a new study.”

ME: Ah. So natural immunity might last longer than vaccine immunity?

CDC: Possibly. You never know.

ME: Okay. If I get the vaccine, does that mean I won’t get sick?

BRITAIN: Nope. We are just now entering a seasonal spike and about half of our infections and hospital admissions are vaccinated people.

ME: CDC, is this true? Are there a lot of people in the U.S. catching Covid after getting the jab?

CDC: We stopped tracking breakthrough cases. We accept voluntary reports of breakthroughs but aren’t out there looking for them.

ME: Does that mean that if someone comes in the hospital with Covid, you don’t track them because they’ve been vaccinated? You only track the UN-vaccinated Covid cases?

CDC: That’s right.

ME: Oh, okay. Hmm. Well, if I can still get sick after I get the vaccine, how is it helping me?

CDC: We never said you wouldn’t get sick. We said it would reduce your chances of serious illness or death.

ME: Oh, sorry. Alright, exactly how much does it reduce my chance of serious illness or death.

CDC: We don’t know “exactly.”

ME: Oh. Then what’s your best estimate for how much risk reduction there is?

CDC: We don’t know, okay? Next question.

ME: Um, if I’m healthy and don’t want the vaccine, is there any reason I should get it?

CDC: Yes, for the collective.

ME: How does the collective benefit from me getting vaccinated?

CDC: Because you could spread the virus to someone else who might get sick and die.

ME: Can a vaccinated person spread the virus to someone else?

CDC: Yes.

ME: So if I get vaccinated, I could still spread the virus to someone else?

CDC: Yes.

ME: But I thought you just said, the REASON I should get vaccinated was to prevent me spreading the virus? How does that make sense if I can still catch Covid and spread it after getting the vaccine?

CDC: Never mind that. The other thing is, if you stay unvaccinated, there’s a chance the virus could possibly mutate into a strain that escapes the vaccine’s protection, putting all vaccinated people at risk.

ME: So the vaccine stops the virus from mutating?

CDC: No.

ME: So it can still mutate in vaccinated people?

CDC: Yes.

ME: This seems confusing. If the vaccine doesn’t stop mutations, and it doesn’t stop infections, then how does me getting vaccinated help prevent a more deadly strain from evolving to escape the vaccine?

CDC: You aren’t listening, okay? The bottom line is: as long as you are unvaccinated, you pose a threat to vaccinated people.

ME: But what KIND of threat??

CDC: The threat that they could get a serious case of Covid and possibly die.

ME: My brain hurts. Didn’t you JUST say that the vaccine doesn’t keep people from catching Covid, but prevents a serious case or dying? Now it seems like you’re saying vaccinated people can still easily die from Covid even after they got the vaccine just by running into an unvaccinated person! Which is it??

CDC: That’s it, we’re hanging up now.

ME: Wait! I just want to make sure I understand all this. So, even if I ALREADY had Covid, I should STILL get vaccinated, because we don’t know how long natural immunity lasts, and we also don’t know how long vaccine immunity lasts. And I should get the vaccine to keep a vaccinated person from catching Covid from me, but even if I get the vaccine, I can give it to the vaccinated person anyways. And, the other vaccinated person can still easily catch a serious case of Covid from me and die. Do I have all that right?

…

ME: Um, hello? Is anyone there?