We learned a long time ago to avoid CT at all costs. Lately we have been making our way over to I87 via I91 and the Mass Pike to NY throughway. I87 is a direct shot to I84, Garden State Pkwy or NYC and all points south or west. It's a bit longer but far more enjoyable. Going through CT is a horror show. As far as tolls are concerned, it's about a wash. The throughway is a free ride over the Hudson River. If you like scenic driving, the Taconic Parkway is nice but slow and lots of speed traps. And if you are going west, you still pay to cross the Hudson.
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