"An old fisherman had just settled onto the ice for a day of ice fishing. He bored a nice big hole in the ice, set up his equipment, cracked a beer and sat on his stoop. He then heard a voice from above...THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE! He stopped what he was doing. Looked around but did not see anyone. He continued fishing. Again, he heard that powerful voice...THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE! This time, he stood up. looked up and he bellowed...IS THAT YOU LORD???
The voice replied...NO, THIS IS THE RINK MANAGER!!!
Seriously though...be careful out there..the only SAFE ice is at a rink!
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"The ocean (or lake) itself is not dangerous, it's the hard stuff around the edges that will kill you."
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