Code Enforcement Officer
We are in a similar situation, and my advice is to talk to your town's code enforcement officer first (if you haven't already). Bring a plot plan of your property and a simple sketch of what you're thinking of doing. Be up-front about any challenges you are wondering about, e.g., septic, well, set-backs, wetlands, dock, driveway.
We started working with a surveyor last year, thinking they would address those things. But as the surveying work progressed, it became obvious to me that I had to get involved and talk with the town because the surveyor wasn't clear on the specific town's requirements. (They do vary from town-to-town, in addition to the state regs.)
You might also have a friendly chat with your neighbors if your non-conformance violates sideline set-backs. It might not be strictly required, but in the interest of keeping peace with your neighbors, it might be helpful.
It can be a complex undertaking, especially when you have non-conforming property, and you're trying to preserve that.
The key is to understand exactly what steps need to be taken in what order. There isn't always a simple answer, but the code enforcement office should give you good guidance.
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